Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.

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(469): View more from Texas

I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(510): View more from California

Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.

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(909): View more from California

My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time

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(312): View more from Illinois

She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere

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(863): View more from Florida

She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.

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