They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked