Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.

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(831): my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens. http://tfl.nu/mq1e

Replies (14) Good night (3052) Bad night (492)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Chicken burrito, or no deal.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Is that code for my vagina?

(402): View more from Nebraska

Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

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(402): Chicken burrito, or no deal. (1-402): Is that code for my vagina? (402): Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito http://tfl.nu/ldfv

Replies (30) Good night (4255) Bad night (995)
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(209): View more from California

is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?

(1-209): View more from California

yes...dear jesus what did you do?

(209): View more from California

bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.

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(209): is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers? (1-209): yes...dear jesus what did you do? (209): bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off. http://tfl.nu/27hf

Replies (56) Good night (4814) Bad night (838)
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(773): View more from Illinois

well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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(773): well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it. http://tfl.nu/vp9s

Replies (19) Good night (6047) Bad night (1100)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.

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(970): I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now. http://tfl.nu/y6ao

Replies (10) Good night (2739) Bad night (977)
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(785): View more from Kansas

U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.

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(785): U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r. http://tfl.nu/crq7

Replies (4) Good night (2771) Bad night (1075)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back

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(215): while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back http://tfl.nu/nfcm

Replies (7) Good night (3569) Bad night (826)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.

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(203): Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room. http://tfl.nu/4omc

Replies (10) Good night (2853) Bad night (1176)
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(281): View more from Texas

I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.

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(281): I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind. http://tfl.nu/2oc1

Replies (8) Good night (2966) Bad night (714)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.

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(302): Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom. http://tfl.nu/7x02

Replies (9) Good night (3078) Bad night (677)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue

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(541): I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue http://tfl.nu/me08

Replies (7) Good night (936) Bad night (1250)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...

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(902): He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it... http://tfl.nu/at35

Replies (6) Good night (1730) Bad night (515)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.

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(513): Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants. http://tfl.nu/xbb5

Replies (1) Good night (1269) Bad night (312)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.

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(443): Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it. http://tfl.nu/cvh2

Replies (5) Good night (794) Bad night (326)
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(561): View more from Florida

Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina

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(561): Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina http://tfl.nu/9ymq

Replies (11) Good night (457) Bad night (748)

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