This is not my ceiling
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."