Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn