If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
