I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
