We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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