She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
