upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
