The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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