if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
