After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
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Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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