he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
