just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize