toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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