Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
