She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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