No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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