i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
