Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
