I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
