We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
