The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
