If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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