part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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