you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
