well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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