People with herpes should wear stickers.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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