My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
