This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
