Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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