called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
