So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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