I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize