WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
