you win again, gameday.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
