I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he fucked my hip out of place.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
