They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
