Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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