After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
