I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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