I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
