I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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