he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
