Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
