Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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