I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
