no, he came in my armpit
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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