Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
