u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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