I just pynch a tree in the face
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
His nipple licking is glorious
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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