I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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