I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
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I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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