Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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