so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
