sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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